So the last two weeks have been much like me riding my Kawasaki, everything is pretty much a blur. Between surgery, PET scans, MRI’s, etc. We have been running non-stop between home, school, and hospital. That was just the preface for things to come.

We are sitting in the hospital waiting on the chemo drugs to come up from pharmacy and we have several ladies from church here just chatting away. What a blessing to have them here to distract Robin. She was quite nervous driving to the hospital this morning. This is the first of 4 rounds of Adriamycin and cyclophosphamide, given every two weeks. Then comes the Taxol which will be given every week, along with Carboplatin given every 3 weeks for another 12 weeks. To complicate matters, this is accompanied by a lab work done the day before chemo, and a shot to stimulate the bone marrow the day after every chemo. So the next 20 weeks are going to be um, interesting.

I can tell you just by my limited experience, no one battles with cancer, it is a full on war! The chemo, the surgery, the radiation, the nausea medicine, the steroids, the recovery, the blood work, these are the battles within the war. God doesn’t promise us that we won’t have to fight, but He DOES protect us DURING the fight. We have the comfort of knowing that whatever happens on this ball of dirt is not the end, it is merely the beginning. It is merely a “training” class to teach us how to depend on God for our existence.

Robin woke up at 0430 this morning in order to get ready and be at the hospital at 0630 for an MRI, chest x-ray, and blood work. I stayed home to get Caleb up and off to school. After walking Caleb to school at 0810, Robin called to tell me she was finished and we met at the car dealership to drop off her vehicle to get some work done on it. We stopped at Starbucks on the way back home to just sit, enjoy a cup of coffee, and catch up on some reading and conversation.

Robin and I got a text from Caleb’s teacher around 1200; Caleb told a boy in his class that “If you want a bloody nose, I’ll give you one.” I went and picked him up and asked him why he said that and his reply was that he was having a bad day. I can understand a bad day when the day before you get told that your mom is sick and will lose her hair and that she won’t be well until next Christmas.

Robin’s resolve is no less than supernatural. She wanted to get out and mow the grass this afternoon, she even started a load of laundry. The Lord has truly given her a spirit of peace through all this.

We met Robin’s surgeon this morning. She is very sweet, very competent, and very caring. I couldn’t have hand picked her any better. We got a first glimpse of what life is going to look like for the next 6 – 9 months: Tomorrow morning at 0630, MRI / blood work / Chest x-ray. Monday morning at 0745, PET CT scan / lab work / consult with the medical oncoologist to discuss the chemotherapy. Tuesday at 0600, at the hospital to prep for surgery for port insertion. Friday, chemo. Yep, chemo starts next week.

Robin is doing great holding together really well. While the surgeon was talking to us, she mentioned that we were amazingly composed in light of the conversation and that’s when Robin shared that the reason for the composure is our faith in Christ. Our surgeon is a believer.To

After the barrage of appointment information, a bazillion phone calls, we are going to employ a very organized friend to help us with scheduling. Not only doctors appointments, but also people who want to help by fixing a meal, visiting, etc.

We told Caleb this afternoon and he took it really well. I am sure he doesn’t realize the brevity of the situation. Robin was quite emotional today, but I know its because her emotions haven’t caught up to her faith yet.

Emotions are running high, patience is running thin, and all of us are well, just running. Robin is up and out the door at 0600 in the morning and I will be getting Caleb up and off to school, then driving down to meet Robin. I don’t think I’m going to finish the laundry tonight…

I call it day 1 because it is the day the pathology report came back. It is the day that a doctor and a nurse told us that we were embarking on a journey of pain, uncertainty, and discomfort. This is day 1 of a fight for life.

Two weeks ago, Robin came home and told me about her amazing trip to the GREAT BANQUET in Kentucky with Paula and Vivian. She told me about meeting God and giving up her fear of failure. She also told me about waking up in the middle of the night and finding a lump in her breast. She told me other things, but honestly, I don’t remember anything after that. Fast forward a week to her doctor’s visit with an OBGYN doctor that had been recommended to her. After the initial exam, he scheduled her for a mammogram Friday morning at 0730. I was at home after taking Caleb to school and she called me at 0945. I asked her how it went and all she could tell me was to clear my schedule for the rest of the day. They had scheduled her immediately for a biopsy of the 3 masses in her chest and the lymph nodes under her arm.

Robin has breast cancer and it has spread into her lymph nodes. They called it Invasive ductal carcinoma to be exact. They tested for Estrogen and Progesterone receptors, but the tests came back negative. I was thinking, “Finally, some GOOD news.” but they then explained that it was not good news. That because she tested negative, they could not use medicine designed to fight that type of cancer. Our immediate and only recourse is surgery to remove the breast and lymph nodes, and chemotherapy to contain the cancer. “Will she lose her hair?” I asked. The doctor replied with a “Yes”. The chemotherapy is designed to kill any rapid growth cells, to include intestinal cells, hair cells, bone cells, and hopefully the cancer cells as well. I decided immediately that when the time comes, Caleb and I will have an appointment at Sports Clips; We will all be bald together!

I KNOW God is in control. I KNOW God is walking with us through this. We got a card from friends with a check in it for $230.00 last month and had no idea what it was for. The couple didn’t either, they just said God told them to give it to us. The trip to Kentucky cost Robin EXACTLY $230.00. God paid for the trip, He woke Robin up in the middle of the night to check herself, He has provided amazing friends to surround us and walk through this with us. Am I still worried? yes. My friend so aptly put it, This is surely the valley of “Suck”.

Tomorrow morning is the appointment with the surgeon and specialist. I feel like Robin is being forced to go on a one way mission into enemy territory and I can’t go with her, I can’t protect her, I can’t be her bodyguard. But I can pray.

In staff, we had a plate of different spices on our table and was challenged during devotion to identify the spices and which one can you identify with in your life spiritually.

I chose cinnamon. In it’s hardened form, it can be used as a spice, but more for decoration, appearance only. When you crush it, grind it, pulverize it, it becomes a powerful spice that can sweeten things like no other spice. When you are pulverized, ground up, when you are crushed, you become a powerful witness for God with a sweet grace that reflects Jesus’s grace for the world.

Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.