I was listening to the radio today on the way from church to the chiropractor’s office and the pastor was speaking on family. He commented that  When Cain killed Abel, it wasn’t because of violent games he played on his console, or anything he learned from his classmates, nor was it anything he had gotten  off  the internet. The pastor’s point was the motivation to kill Abel came from within Cain’s heart, not his environment or the people he associated with. I thought about it and realized this was the very first family to walk the earth and they were DYSFUNCTIONAL. Then I pondered, I have  never known a “functional” family, so what if there is NO dysfunctional family? What if the family unit is flawed by nature? God designed Adam and Eve to live together in the garden, but never mentioned child bearing until AFTER the fall of man. What if the family unit is flawed because of the sin Adam and Eve incurred in their life.

We are ALL dysfunctional. It is not because of our mother and father divorcing, it is not because of drug abuse, nor is it even because of physical abuse. It is because of the separation of our hearts from our creator. Divorce, drug abuse, physical abuse, these things are results of the sin, not the cause of the sin.

Looking at each other, and families with this mindset, be encouraged that NO ONE except for Christ was/is perfect. Romans 3:23 tells us  that “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Therefore, it isn’t because we are failures, it isn’t because we are less of a human being, rather it is because of the  spiritual chasm that lies between us and our creator, our true purpose.

I have a really screwed up family; stuff that inspires horror stories, but we are NOT dysfunctional, we are merely  sinners.

Men are like jeeps in the fact that we are “purposed” built. In other words, we were designed for a specific purpose in mind, a bullet waiting to be launched towards a target. Like any projectile or purpose built machine, unless we are on mission (pointed at our target), we are a danger to ourselves and everyone around us. Let’s take a Jeep for example: A Jeep wrangler is built to go off-road, to climb rocks, to traverse rough, uneven ground. Out in the wilderness, it is a precision machine and can carry you just about anywhere (I have pictures to prove it). In a Mall parking lot, it is cumbersome, slow, and trying to park in a “compact” space is harrowing.

What is your target? Is it to be the best father you can be? Is it to be the best husband you can be? is it to be the best at your profession (Athletic or Academic)? Or do you not have a target? Picking your target is crucial to your survival as a man. A valid target provides desire, determination, and discipline. Not having a target (or an invalid target) provides apathy, atrophy, and chaos. Proverbs 13:4 states, “A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.”, so a valid target is a target that provides life to you, that gives you life, not death. To determine whether a target is worthy, ask yourself these questions concerning your target:

1. My target is a goal, a finish line. Is it a finish line that I will be proud of crossing? Is it one I will proclaim from the mountaintops? Or is it a target that I would be ashamed of if anyone found out?
2. Will my target make me a better person? A stronger person? or will it undermine my health and, or mental acuity?
3. Will my target change my geographical, physical, or spiritual location? (by definition, goals, targets, or finish lines are in a different location (physically, spiritually, geographically) from where are now.

Determine your desires and you will identify your target(s). Identify your target(s) and you can shape your determination (make plans, develop strategies). What must I do to accomplish my goal, reach my target? How long will it take before I impact my target? What AO (Area of Operation) in my life does my target reside? Is it spiritual? Is it physical? is it monetary? These are questions we need to ask ourselves as men and commit the answers to pen and paper. Make the answers tangible so you can remind yourself of your target(s) daily. Remember, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Determination is fueled by accomplishments. That is why writing down your target(s) is crucial to your success. Frequently analyze your position in relation to your target(s). Are you moving closer or straying off target? Are you accelerating towards your target(s) or are you losing momentum. Your determination will ebb and flow based on your position. The rule in motorcycle riding is to “look” through your turn in order to traverse the turn as safely and quickly as possible; the same principle applies in life: You will move in the direction you are looking, think about it.

That’s it for today. I’m going to take my family camping. 🙂