We met Robin’s surgeon this morning. She is very sweet, very competent, and very caring. I couldn’t have hand picked her any better. We got a first glimpse of what life is going to look like for the next 6 – 9 months: Tomorrow morning at 0630, MRI / blood work / Chest x-ray. Monday morning at 0745, PET CT scan / lab work / consult with the medical oncoologist to discuss the chemotherapy. Tuesday at 0600, at the hospital to prep for surgery for port insertion. Friday, chemo. Yep, chemo starts next week.

Robin is doing great holding together really well. While the surgeon was talking to us, she mentioned that we were amazingly composed in light of the conversation and that’s when Robin shared that the reason for the composure is our faith in Christ. Our surgeon is a believer.To

After the barrage of appointment information, a bazillion phone calls, we are going to employ a very organized friend to help us with scheduling. Not only doctors appointments, but also people who want to help by fixing a meal, visiting, etc.

We told Caleb this afternoon and he took it really well. I am sure he doesn’t realize the brevity of the situation. Robin was quite emotional today, but I know its because her emotions haven’t caught up to her faith yet.

Emotions are running high, patience is running thin, and all of us are well, just running. Robin is up and out the door at 0600 in the morning and I will be getting Caleb up and off to school, then driving down to meet Robin. I don’t think I’m going to finish the laundry tonight…

I call it day 1 because it is the day the pathology report came back. It is the day that a doctor and a nurse told us that we were embarking on a journey of pain, uncertainty, and discomfort. This is day 1 of a fight for life.

Two weeks ago, Robin came home and told me about her amazing trip to the GREAT BANQUET in Kentucky with Paula and Vivian. She told me about meeting God and giving up her fear of failure. She also told me about waking up in the middle of the night and finding a lump in her breast. She told me other things, but honestly, I don’t remember anything after that. Fast forward a week to her doctor’s visit with an OBGYN doctor that had been recommended to her. After the initial exam, he scheduled her for a mammogram Friday morning at 0730. I was at home after taking Caleb to school and she called me at 0945. I asked her how it went and all she could tell me was to clear my schedule for the rest of the day. They had scheduled her immediately for a biopsy of the 3 masses in her chest and the lymph nodes under her arm.

Robin has breast cancer and it has spread into her lymph nodes. They called it Invasive ductal carcinoma to be exact. They tested for Estrogen and Progesterone receptors, but the tests came back negative. I was thinking, “Finally, some GOOD news.” but they then explained that it was not good news. That because she tested negative, they could not use medicine designed to fight that type of cancer. Our immediate and only recourse is surgery to remove the breast and lymph nodes, and chemotherapy to contain the cancer. “Will she lose her hair?” I asked. The doctor replied with a “Yes”. The chemotherapy is designed to kill any rapid growth cells, to include intestinal cells, hair cells, bone cells, and hopefully the cancer cells as well. I decided immediately that when the time comes, Caleb and I will have an appointment at Sports Clips; We will all be bald together!

I KNOW God is in control. I KNOW God is walking with us through this. We got a card from friends with a check in it for $230.00 last month and had no idea what it was for. The couple didn’t either, they just said God told them to give it to us. The trip to Kentucky cost Robin EXACTLY $230.00. God paid for the trip, He woke Robin up in the middle of the night to check herself, He has provided amazing friends to surround us and walk through this with us. Am I still worried? yes. My friend so aptly put it, This is surely the valley of “Suck”.

Tomorrow morning is the appointment with the surgeon and specialist. I feel like Robin is being forced to go on a one way mission into enemy territory and I can’t go with her, I can’t protect her, I can’t be her bodyguard. But I can pray.

In staff, we had a plate of different spices on our table and was challenged during devotion to identify the spices and which one can you identify with in your life spiritually.

I chose cinnamon. In it’s hardened form, it can be used as a spice, but more for decoration, appearance only. When you crush it, grind it, pulverize it, it becomes a powerful spice that can sweeten things like no other spice. When you are pulverized, ground up, when you are crushed, you become a powerful witness for God with a sweet grace that reflects Jesus’s grace for the world.

Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I jumped in the Miata this morning to go to work. I pulled out of the neighborhood and turned right onto Research Parkway and drove down to turn right and merge onto Powers Highway going south. The weather was very pleasant, a little overcast, but with the top down, the air was crisp and the day was going to be great. A pickup truck passes on the left and proceeds to cut the guy in front of me off, just to get off the highway at the next exit. It happened to be my exit and I ended up behind the pickup and I was thinking all kinds of thoughts about the guy driving: inconsiderate, bonehead, selfish, etc. A car pulls up behind me before the light changes and I look at the driver and recognize her. I can see the pain and hurt all over her face; she is the mom of a child that had committed suicide and I had attended the funeral on Saturday.

In a rush of  humiliation (in knowing I’M the bonehead), I realized that I have NO idea what is going on in the lives of the people around me, in the car beside me, in the pickup truck in front of me, in the person pushing the grocery cart in the aisle in front of you.

John 13:34-35, Jesus says, “A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

God, I want to be counted as yours, help me love others as YOU love others.

So I have this cold which has caused my head to feel like its going to explode which results in little to no sleep. I DID take NyQuil which helped, but I hate feeling groggy in the morning. Anyway, I got up this morning at 0450 and started my day. I actually LIKE getting up that early because I feel like I have plenty of time to read the things that get pushed aside during the day due to time constraints.

I read about the ObamaCare abortion fight in the supreme court, I read about Peter admonishing the gentiles to be Godly (1 Peter), I read about a baptist preacher warning against Rick Warren’s “Purpose driven Church”. I read about Appalachian State football playing at Clemson in 2015. I watched a video of some mountain bikers riding this EXTREME trail on the side of a cliff in China.

Then I put the iPad down and thought about what is REALLY gnawing at me at 0530 in the morning. It isn’t politics, it isn’t sports, it isn’t even finances. Its the thought of making sure I serve the Lord today. I just want to please my Father in heaven today, no more, no less. Yes, I miss my two daughters, yes, I miss my brothers and sisters. Yes, I’m worried about our church and the turmoil its going through at the moment.

I am starting my day, resting on these words: Psalms 5:11,12 NASB “But let all who take refuge in You be glad, let them ever sing for joy; And may You shelter them, that those who love Your name may exult in You. For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord, You surround him with favor as with a shield.”